Written by Luciena Grant
It would appear that our society has plummeted into an abyss of antagonism, with everyone mad about something. Everyone is upset. People are hurting and as the saying goes, “hurt people, hurt people.” The condition of the world is not helping the situation much either. The current state of the economy, raised prices, declines in income, increase in unemployment, and an alarming increase in crimes and violence everywhere are but a few factors that exacerbates our stress. Furthermore, it is no secret or surprise that the pandemic has left a lasting effect on us all. We are yet to know or fully understand the extent of which the pandemic has had on us psychologically, physically, and economically.
"an increase in feelings of moodiness, difficulty sleeping and concentrating, irritability, and anxiety, among other symptoms, is to be expected... the effects of experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event, whether that be a car accident, severe illness, or any perceived threat to you or a loved one’s life, takes a toll on your nervous system no matter who you are." Dr. JoAnn Difede, an attending Psychologist at New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center
What we do know is that the world has changed. We live, work, learn, educate, communicate, and conduct business differently, among other things. We are not the same. To that end, many of us are still recovering from the pandemic, meanwhile adjusting to the changes the pandemic has had on our lives.
What is Anger?
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anger as, “an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.”
Furthermore, there are many types of anger to be aware of. There's assertive anger, behavioral anger, chronic anger, destructive anger, passive aggressive anger, just to name a few. Everyone can agree that to be wronged by someone is infuriating. It is a normal response to be upset, but some of us are expressing anger towards the wrong person. Let's briefly explore below people's tendency to misdirect their anger.
Hangry
Have you ever heard the the colloquial term “Hangry”? Hangry refers to the irritability and bad temper a person has when hungry. When something is bothering you, you’re just not your normal self.
Check out this Snicker’s commercial below to help illustrate my point:
Check out some common signs of anger to be mindful of:
Emotional Effects
- Feeling tense, nervous, or unable to relax
- Feeling guilty
- Feeling aggressive or violent
- Feeling resentful towards others or situations
- Easily irritable
Physical Effects
- Headaches
- Tightness in Chest
- Tense or tight muscles
- Increased rapid heartbeat
- Sweating
- Shaking or trembling
- Lightheadedness
"Displaced anger is the direction of hostility away from the source of frustration or anger and toward either the self or a different entity.”
What To Do About Anger?
Self-Awareness
Self-Awareness is a person’s ability to recognize their emotional state at any given time. Self-Awareness is critical to being able to manage your emotions. If you do not know or understand how you feel, you cannot manage the influence your emotions might have on your thoughts and behaviors.
Communication
If you find yourself in an upsetting situation with someone waiting to speak to you, communicate to them that you need a minute. You may offer an apology in advance for your inability to communicate in the moment. Its ok to let others know that you are not ok and that it is difficult to communicate clearly in your current state. This gives the other person an opportunity to not be defensive and to approach you with empathy.
Seek Professional Help
If your anger is becoming a pattern or if you find yourself engaging in acts of self-harm, abuse, excessive alcohol or drug use, or if your anger is affecting your relationships, it's time to seek professional help. This doesn't mean that you are a bad person, it just means that you need help. Remember that self care is self love.
Thank You for Reading!
Now that you know better, its important to do better. We must resist the urge to behave poorly just because we are upset. There are things we can do to better manage our emotions and behaviors such as resisting the urge to respond immediately to an offense so that you can explore what’s really behind your emotion. Examine the true source of your pain or anger. Know who or what you're really mad at. Are you hungry? Tired? Are your emotions applicable to the present situation and/or person in front of you? Self-Awareness allows you to be in control of your responses which in turn will lead to more lasting, happier relationships.
Commit daily to caring for and loving yourself, no matter what. We here at The Let’s Talk Tribe are rooting for your continued success.
The Let's Talk Tribe Team
Written By Luciena Grant
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