Losing a loved one is a horrific experience for anyone to have to go through. We are never adequately prepared for grief and loss; it just happens to us. How does anyone prepare for death, grief, or loss? What do we do when faced with an impossible situation for which the worse outcome becomes final? How do we cope? Will it ever get better? Let’s talk about it!
I recently lost my grandmother. She is everything to me. I refuse to refer to her in past tense, such as, she “was” everything to me. Its my defiant way of rejecting the reality that she is no longer here with me. Its my way of rejecting the fact that I cannot pick up the phone to call her and I cannot visit her. Time will never dissipate my love for her. She will forever mean the world to me. With that said, clearly I have not accepted her passing. Instead, I’ve repressed my acknowledgment of her passing by just carrying on as if she went on a vacation.
I do not perceive this to be a good thing, that I am grieving in this way. I do not imply in no way that my way of grieving is a healthy process for anyone to explore, but it is my truth. I am finding my own way. We each have our own way. I encourage everyone to figure out their own way and to be encouraged along in their process.
As with life in general, everyone’s journey in life is distinctly unique. Though I have had my share of grief and loss, I certainly am no expert in the matter nor does my research, advice, or experience provide you with a definite solution on how to get through yours. However, I can only share my own personal experience, share what worked for me, as well as share some great articles, information, and resources that can help you find your own way. My hope for everyone experiencing loss is to have hope. Good things are always possible, even in the midst of absolute mess. Hang in there.
Check out this short video clip of Bishop T.D. Jakes and his daughter Sarah Jakes Roberts discussing grief.
Coping Strategies
Ask for Help: Allow yourself permission to ask others for help. It is ok to ask for help. Keep in mind that loved ones, probably not knowing what to do in this situation, are awaiting your permission to show their love and support. They want to hear from you. Allow them the opportunity to meet your needs, big or small. It will offer you much needed relief and support.
Stay Connected: It is important to maintain emotionally supportive relationships. To the best of your ability, keep communication lines open between you and the people who love and support you. Taking time alone to process your emotions is important part of your healing process; however, push against the urge to close off yourself from loved ones.
Avoid Triggers: Distance yourself from sources of stress. Limit yourself from watching, listening to, and being around negativity. Instead, surround yourself with uplifting and positive influences that support your ability to heal, cope and thrive.
Get Good Sleep: Do not underestimate the power of good quality sleep. Experiencing stress and grief can make it difficult to sleep, however we must aim for at least 7 hours of sleep. If you are struggling with getting adequate sleep, seek the advice of a medical doctor. Also know that there are over-the-counter sleep aids, as well as natural homeopathic remedies to help you get a good night's rest. Check out some recommendations below.
Melatonin Supplements
Warm Milk
Zzzquil
Unisom
Balanced Diet: In addition to a balanced diet being good for your physical body, eating a well-balanced diet is also good for your emotional being as well.
“Many of your body’s activities are controlled by natural chemicals called neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters carry signals between nerves and other cells to help manage your heartbeat, breathing, emotions, concentration levels, and more. And by eating certain foods, you can help stimulate the production of some neurotransmitters.”
Exercise: Exercise relieves stress and improves your mood. Studies have shown that regular exercise can improve symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Hobbies: As often as possible, engage in pleasurable and fun activities and this will help with coping, and to relieve stress. Consider hobbies that allow for physical exercise, that way you get a two for one; such as dancing, swimming, racquetball, or bicycling.
Check Out These Great Articles & Resources on This Week’s Topic Below:
How to Deal with Grieving the Loss of a Parent. Written by Meaghan Rice PsyD., LPC
Feb 21, 2023
Fighting Forward. Tips & Tricks
Coping Strategies and Defense Mechanisms: Basic and Intermediate Defenses
Stress: Coping With Life's Stressors
How Grief Affects Your Brain And What To Do About It | Better | NBC News
The Five States of Grief and Loss
Takeaways
If you feel suicidal call 911, immediately. Please seek medical attention if you feel that your emotions and thoughts are out of control, and you are unable to function.
With grief, everyone’s journey is different, but we all can learn from each other. It’s important to be there for one another, especially during times of grief. Supporting one another is good for everyone, but expressing love through service is a great way for someone experiencing grief to channel positive energy. It is important to stay connected to those who love and support you. If you find that you do not have people to support you, seek out support groups to fill the gap. What’s important to know is that it is possible to recover from grief. Furthermore, it is possible to experience joy again, one day. With hope, good things are possible. Be encouraged. Stay hopeful.
As always, my beautiful Tribe, remember to commit yourself daily to caring for and loving yourself, no matter what. We here at The Let’s Talk Tribe are rooting for your continued success. Please like, share, comment, and SUBSCRIBE!
Always With Love,
The Let's Talk Tribe Team
References:
How to Deal with Grieving the Loss of a Parent. Written by Meaghan Rice PsyD., LPC
Feb 21, 2023
https://www.talkspace.com/blog/losing-a-parent/
Fighting Forward. Tips & Tricks
https://www.fightingforward.org/tips-tricks
Coping Strategies and Defense Mechanisms: Basic and Intermediate Defenses
https://www.mentalhelp.net/self-help/coping-strategies-basic-and-intermediate-defenses/
Stress: Coping With Life's Stressors
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/6392-stress-coping-with-lifes-stressors
Improve your mood with healthy food by Kaiser Permanente| April 14, 2023
https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/healtharticle.improve-your-mood-with-healthy-food
National Library of Medicine. Can Physical Activity Support Grief Outcomes in Individuals Who Who Have Been Bereaved? A Systematic Review
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8028581/
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